Humour Medical Definitions

Medical definitions

Artery - The study of paintings.

Bacteria - Back door to a cafeteria.

Barium - What doctors do when patients die.

Benign - What you be after you be eight

Caesarean Section - A neighbourhood in Rome.

Ct scan - Searching for kitty.

Cauterise - Made eye contact with her.

Colic - A sheep dog.

Coma - punctuation mark.

D & C - Where Washington is.

Dilate - To live long.

Enema- Not a friend.

Fester - Quicker than someone else.

Fibula - small lie.

Genital - Non-Jewish person.

G.I.Series - Military baseball.

Hangnail - What you hang your coat on.

Impotent - Distinguished, well known.

Labour Pain - Getting hurt at work.

Medical Staff - doctor’s cane.

Morbid - A higher offer than I bid.

Nitrates - Cheaper than day rates.

Node - I knew it.

Outpatient - A person who has fainted.

Pap Smear - fatherhood test.

Pelvis - Second cousin to Elvis.

Post Operative - A letter carrier.

Recovery Room - Place to do upholstery.

Rectum - Darn near killed him.

Secretion - Hiding something.

Seizure - Roman emperor.

Tablet - small table.

Terminal Illness - Getting sick at the airport.

Tumour - More than one.

Urine - Opposite of you’re out.

Varicose - Near by / close by.